Deep in the American midwest, there was silence, for nothing ever happens there. Or at least, such has hitherto been the case when the earth began
to mysteriously shake. Out of ignorance it was assumed that movement between tectonic plates had caused a minor earthquake. In reality, the source
of this rumbling was obvious: alnokitchen has finally awakened from his ten-year meditative state.
With mighty strength, alnokitchen pushed aside the boulder which sealed the cavern's entrance. Ten years of reflection and meditation
has wisened alnokitchen greatly. As a reflection of his mighty wisdom, his eyebrows, much like Michelangelo's Creation of Adam,
touched together in one continuous, monobrowed band.
As alnokitchen peered out into the modern world, his eyes unaccustomed to the natural environment, a golden light shone above his head. He cautiously peered
upwards and saw a clay tablet materializing high above the land. As the tablet descended downwards into alnokitchen's open hands, he realized that this
message was the culmination of his ten years of meditation and hermitry. He looked down in awe. The message was clear:
"Hey man so yuo[sic] gotta start a site called alno.kitchen exactly that not .com and like post whatever ."
Immediately, alnokitchen shut himself back inside his cave, opened up Notepad++, and slapped together some HTML. And a site was born.